


Buried Feelings

by nanajaems



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:54:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26680975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanajaems/pseuds/nanajaems
Summary: Four years after they graduated, the boys finally had time to meet each other. A night full of catching up turns into something unexpected.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Na Jaemin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Buried Feelings

It’s been four years since they graduated. Four years since they went into different cities to find stable jobs. The boys were currently gathered at Mark’s house, drinking together after a long time of not hanging out with each other.

Mark, Jaemin, Haechan, and Chenle have been friends ever since they entered college. A friendship unexpectedly formed with their love in dancing. It started with a “two truths, one lie” game by one of their professors during freshman year where they found out about each other’s interest and the rest is history. A circle of friends consisting of 4 people turned into seven as they found the person they’ll love in this lifetime. Well, except for one.

Haechan was the first one to find the _one_. He met his boyfriend, Renjun, while eating at the pavilion in front of their college faculty’s building during their sophomore year. Apparently, Haechan had love at first sight with his boyfriend and decided to not let the chance pass and immediately made a move on Renjun. Turns out his boyfriend had a big crush on him since he saw him during their freshman walk in their university. And that’s how they got together.

Chenle and Jisung, his boyfriend, were childhood friends. They realized they had feelings for each other when they were about to enter college. Thinking they’re still young to enter a relationship, they stayed as friends for the rest of their college years while studying in different universities. During Jisung’s graduation, Chenle asked Jisung if he still feels the same and finally asked Jisung to date him.

Jaemin was the most recent one to find the love of his life. Jaemin met Jeno a year after graduating through his workmate. Jeno was his workmate’s friend who was introduced to him in a party they once attended. They were close friends at first; usually riding their bikes together in the morning because their houses were near to each other. Jeno was the first one to like Jaemin though. He spent almost a year making Jaemin his boyfriend. Jaemin was kind of reserved at first but eventually fell for the boy with the prettiest eye smiles.

Lastly, Mark…

“Hey, Mark, when are you going to find your own boyfriend?” Haechan teased.

“Yeah, you’re the only one who’s single here,” Chenle added, which made everyone laugh.

  
  


“Stop teasing Markie!” Jaemin said although he’s trying to suppress his laughter too. “He’ll find his special someone at the right time. Right, Mark?”

Mark just smiled and drank the beer from the cup he is holding.

They continued drinking, laughing, and chatting, catching up about everyone’s lives until they were almost drunk. Chenle and Jisung were the first one to leave Mark’s living room since Jisung gets easily drunk. Renjun and Haechan soon followed after the latter started to get really noisy, grabbing one of the microphones they used earlier while jamming to their favorite songs. Renjun apologized to Mark on behalf of his boyfriend if ever his neighbor gets mad at him for having noisy visitors at midnight before dragging his boyfriend to one of the spare rooms in Mark’s house. Since there were only three of them left to drink, they all decided to pack up already. Besides, Jeno’s a bit drunk too.

“Let me just get Jeno to bed. I’ll help you tidy things up in here,” Jaemin told Mark as he held his boyfriend’s waist to help him stand.

“Sure,” Mark answered while picking up some bags of chips on the floor.

When the two left, Mark sighed and sat on one of the beanbags in his living room. He rubbed his face with his palms and heaved another deep sigh.

_It’s been years, Mark. Nothing changed? Still him?_

It was a long silence while Mark was in deep thoughts until he felt a tap on his shoulder that made him look up and saw the exact person he was thinking about.

“I’ve been calling you but you weren’t responding. Are you feeling dizzy? I could clean this up myself. Go to your room,” Jaemin told him worriedly.

“No, it’s fine. I’m just thinking about something,” he answered and shook his head.

“You sure?” Jaemin assured for the last time before they started cleaning up all their mess.

After throwing the last bottles of alcohol they drank, the both of them decided to

drink some coffee to cure their hangovers like what they usually do before when they were still in college.

“I missed your coffee,” Mark opened up the conversation as he sat on one of the chairs in his dining room.

Jaemin smirked, “Of course. I make the best cup of coffees.”

“I missed you, too,” Mark added and stared at Jaemin who was sitting across him.

It was silent after that. The both of them were just staring at each other feeling something in the air that wraps them both. Was it awkwardness, longing, or a mix of both?

Jaemin cleared his throat before smiling softly.

“I missed you, too, Markie,” he said to lighten up the atmosphere and took a sip on his cup. “You’re my best friend and we haven’t hung out with each other since we graduated.” Jaemin pouted.

“Stop making that face. You look ugly,” Mark scrunched his nose. “But seriously, how are you? I-I’m glad you found Jeno.”

“I’m glad I found him too,” he replied and lowered his head as he smiled with the thought of his boyfriend.

Mark continued staring at Jaemin. The latter looked so peaceful, happy and in love. _He’s breathtaking. Beautiful as usual._

“How did you find such a nice guy? You haven’t told me how you met,” Mark continued asking Jaemin.

“He’s my workmate’s friend. We met at some party three years ago,” Jaemin answered.

“Oh, since when did you enjoy partying? You used to hate those before,” Mark squinted his eyes as he questioned his best friend.

“I still don’t like partying,” Jaemin chuckled. “I was just dragged there by my workmates after a whole stressful day at our office. I didn’t regret going though. That’s where I met him.”

“You sound so in love, Jaem,” he noticed. He couldn’t stop himself to comment about how much Jaemin looked while talking about his boyfriend

“It’s because I really am,” Jaemin admitted.

Mark felt pain on his chest but he chose to ignore it. Jaemin is happy, what’s there to feel hurt, right?

“What do you like about him? You were so picky during college that you didn’t date anyone,” Mark asked and laughed silently while reminiscing about what happened to them before.

“To be honest? He reminded me of you. A lot,” Jaemin replied. Mark was about to take another sip from his cup but stopped midway because of what he heard.

“Me? How so?” Mark blurted out louder than they should speak. He turned to look at the doors of the rooms where their friends are sleeping to see if he woke up anyone with his voice. “I mean why would you date anyone that reminded me of you?”

Jaemin smiled, “You were really dense back then, aren’t you?”

“What do you mean?” Mark questioned with his voice shaking. _No, it can’t be._

“I don’t want us to feel any awkwardness but I thought I need to tell you this in the future,” he chuckled. “Never thought it would be this soon though.”

“Hey, stop those cliff hangers. Just tell me what it is about,” Mark begged impatiently.

“You haven’t changed a bit, Markie. You still don’t have patience,” he teased. “I had the biggest crush on you when we were in college. Or was it just a crush? I’m not sure. I just liked you so much till I met Jeno.”

Mark felt his heart drop with what he just heard. Jaemin liked him? All those years that he tried to hide his own feelings for his best friend, he was feeling the same too?

“What?” Mark asked confusedly. He felt like his throat was dried up even if he’s drinking something at the moment. “Why didn’t you tell me so?”

“Mark, you were my best friend,” Jaemin reached for Mark’s hands and clasped it with his. “You’re too precious for me. I couldn’t risk anything that would ruin our friendship.”

Mark couldn’t believe what he just heard. Jaemin liked him. The person he loved all this time liked him back at some point but both of them didn’t make any move. Life’s so unfair.

“I want to thank you, though,” Jaemin broke the silence that surrounded them after his confession and let go of Mark’s hand to hold his cup.

“For what?” Mark asked as he played with his own hands. He can’t look straight to his best friend after what he just admitted.

“For being my inspiration. I wouldn’t survive college without you,” he smiled to himself. “For being a great person. For teaching me what love is that leads me to the person I’m with right now.”

As if he wasn’t hurt enough by what Jaemin confessed earlier, Mark felt his heart break even more. _How about me? What about us?_ Thoughts flooded his mind that he didn’t notice that Jaemin finished his coffee while they were sitting there in another uncomfortable silence.

“I’m going to sleep now,” Jaemin excused himself. “Good night, Markie.”

Mark looked at Jaemin and nodded before showing a little smile and uttered good night. Jaemin tapped his shoulder before leaving him alone in his dining room.

They just had coffee to sober up from all the liquor they had earlier but Mark feels like he wants to drink more alcohol after the conversation he had with Jaemin.

_What if he made a move?_

_What if he confessed?_

_What if he didn’t let his fear eat him and took the risk and told his best friend that he loves him?_

_Will they be still together now, happy with each other’s side?_

More questions appeared on his mind as he felt tears roll down his cheeks. He pulled his hair out of frustration as he poured his feelings out while sobbing. Regrets filled his heart and mind as he sat there, crying quietly and drowning the feelings that he kept for years for it will never reach the person that owns his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my first fic hehe if you liked it please leave some comments/kudos :)) thank you! find me on twt @nanaderys


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